Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
