i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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