she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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