dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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