I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
