Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Randomize
