Fuck appropriateness.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Randomize