"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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