i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
