I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
