Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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