He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
