Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
Your message has been received by an unknown user. Picture verification required.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
