He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
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