I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
