Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Randomize