my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize