I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Randomize
