tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
