i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
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