Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
