Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
