I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
