So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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