Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
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