i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
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