How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
