I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Randomize
