YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
