so that wasnt chicken after all
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Bring me that man meat
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize