I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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