I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize