I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
sex in a hospital.. check
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Randomize
