Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
