I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
