She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
