Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
