Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
