so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
