they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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