So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
