I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Found your dick twin last night
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
