What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
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