i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
