he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Randomize
