Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
