My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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