Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
