Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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