Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize
