her vagine was all disorganized.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
