I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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