I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
worst night to have a conscience
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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