It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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