Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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