Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Randomize
