I'm jealous of your bromance
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
