youre lurking in front of me
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Randomize
