I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
