im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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